Have you ever failed so hard… the air in the room changed?
Like you could feel the disappointment floating around like bad perfume?
Have you ever bombed so badly that you wanted Jesus to Rapture you immediately — no warning, no paperwork, just TAKE ME NOW?
Or have you ever walked into a room full of people who smiled at you… until you opened your mouth and then suddenly they looked like they wanted refunds?
If you’ve ever felt that level of humiliation,
congratulations.
You are emotionally qualified to read this blog.
Because what happened to me recently wasn’t failure…
it was a spectacular crash-and-burn event that made me question my citizenship on Earth.
Let’s begin.
So I get invited to be a judge at a roast battle at the Comedy Store in La Jolla.
Not just to watch — but to judge.
Like they trusted ME with authority.
Mind you…
I’ve only been taking comedy seriously for about 4 to 5 months —
I’m still in my comedy toddler phase, walking, wobbling, and occasionally shitting myself metaphorically.
But I was excited.
Nervous.
Ready.
And absolutely clueless.
I visited a roast battle in LA to “study.”
I watched a few battles on YouTube.
I scribbled down some jokes I thought were roast material.
But did I TRULY understand roasting?
Absolutely not.
I was out here preparing like I was studying for the WRONG exam.
Then I walk into the room…
and immediately feel like I accidentally wandered into a country club charity gala.
Bougie white couples.
Fancy outfits.
Wine glasses.
People who look like their hobbies include voting and calling the manager.
They gave me 7 minutes on stage, so I figured,
“Let me tell the joke I planned — the one about me squirting everywhere in porn.”
Honey…
I did NOT think about who my audience was.
I start the joke.
Halfway into it I swear the JEWELRY in the room tightened.
The air temp dropped.
People shifted.
Eyes widened.
It felt like the Holy Spirit walked out the door and said, “Yeah… you’re on your own, sis.”
For the first time ever, I felt the room’s energy turn NEGATIVE.
Like instant hostility.
Like I personally offended their retirement plans.
I saw a woman clutch her pearls like she needed emotional support.
A man blinked at me so slow I thought he was buffering.
Someone in the back exhaled judgment.
And the crowd did. not. laugh.
Not a giggle.
Not a pity chuckle.
Just silence so thick you could hear Botox settling into pores.
Then came JUDGING time —
which was worse.
I open my mouth to roast the roasters…
and every roast I say falls out like a broken English assignment.
Nothing landed.
Nothing made sense.
I stumbled, I fumbled, I died internally.
The roasters roasted ME back.
The crowd roasted me.
Even the HOST roasted me.
A lady in the audience hated me so much, the host literally said,
“Wow… you REALLY don’t like her.”
At that moment I wasn’t judging the roast —
I WAS the roast.
Fully cooked, carved, basted, and served.
And through it all, I was silently praying,
“Jesus… help.”
“Jesus… rescue me.”
“Jesus… are you WATCHING this trainwreck?”
But Jesus was silent.
He left me on read.
He probably grabbed popcorn and said, “Oof… she’ll learn.”
When it was all over, I should’ve been embarrassed.
Humiliated.
Discouraged.
But guess what?
I wasn’t.
I was actually MOTIVATED.
Something in me snapped — in a good way.
I said,
“Oh… so I suck at roasting?
Cool.
I’ll LEARN.”
I went home and immediately jumped into student mode.
Bought Jeff Ross’s book “I Only Roast the Ones I Love.”
Contacted comedian friends for advice.
Enrolled in an online roasting class.
Took notes.
Practiced.
Committed.
Because failure doesn’t mean quit —
failure means level up.
I’ve failed in so many areas of my life —
Success, marriage, ministry, business, comedy, all of it.
But the difference between staying stuck and moving forward
is learning to LOVE failure.
Because failure isn’t the enemy.
Quitting is.
When you fail?
Get up.
Fix what needs fixing.
Laugh at yourself.
Try again.
Success doesn’t come from perfect people —
it comes from stubborn people who refuse to give up.
I refuse to stay down.
Next time I walk into a roast battle?
I’m roasting EVERYBODY.
And this time… the room is gonna feel me shift the energy.
Remember you are my lovers, whether you love me or love to hate me you are still my lover!
Don’t forget Jesus loves you and so do I!
