Pastor’s Question:
I am so sorry to hear about your trauma. That is horrible. In light of this, I must ask you please forgive my next question. Does this mean that due to your trauma, and the grace theology, you are free to engage in adult film? I also sense “repenting” or turning from sin is not realistic. Am I in left field with what I sense from you?
My Response:
Thank you for asking that sincerely. I know the question is coming from a place of care, not judgment, so I really do appreciate it.
Let me start by saying this clearly: I am not saying we are free to sin in the sense of celebrating sin or pursuing it. I am simply saying that being human means we will always fall short. Every single one of us lives with flaws, struggles, weaknesses, and areas of brokenness. The Bible says:
• “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).
• “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8).
So sin is not something that only certain people deal with. It is universal. It just shows up differently in each person’s life. Some people cope with pain through overeating. Scripture actually calls that gluttony. Some cope through anger, bitterness, gossip, or jealousy. Those are also sins. So we all have something.
This is why understanding repentance is so important. The word “repent” in the original Greek (metanoia) means to change one’s mind. It is not about begging God for forgiveness over and over again, as if we could lose salvation every time we mess up. True repentance is a one-time turning from disbelief to belief in Christ. It is choosing Him. And once that happens, Jesus deals with all of our sin, past, present, and future.
The Bible says:
• “For by one sacrifice He has made perfect forever those who are being made holy” (Hebrews 10:14).
• “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:13).
So repentance is not a constant cycle of fear and guilt. It is a new mindset. It is setting our hearts on Christ and trusting Him to grow us, heal us, and transform us over time.
We grow not by trying harder to be holy, but by trusting Jesus and allowing His grace to do the work in us.
• “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith. And this is not from yourselves. It is the gift of God. Not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8–9).
So to answer your question directly:
No, I am not saying trauma gives me permission to sin. And no, I am not saying repentance is impossible. What I am saying is that repentance is about turning to Jesus, not about achieving perfect moral behavior. I am saved because Jesus is perfect, not because I am.
And that is why I can say this with honesty and without shame:
I am a pornstar who loves Jesus and clings to the cross.
I do not pretend to be perfect. I am simply someone who knows I need grace every single day. And I believe that’s the heart of the Gospel.
If you’ve got more questions like this or want to go deeper, email me anytime at info@funnychristy.com.
Remember you are my lovers, whether you love me or love to hate me you are still my lover!
Don’t forget Jesus loves you and so do I!