Have you ever been asked a question that made you stop, breathe, and think, “Okay, that’s fair”? Recently, a pastor asked me something that was both honest and loaded — the kind of question most people think but never say out loud. And honestly, I respect that.
Here’s what he asked me:
“Thank you for your lovely candor; it is refreshing. Are you saying that even if you stopped the sin of adult film, it wouldn’t matter, because you would just sin in other ways, so you may as well just continue to do the sin that you prefer?”
Now, I know that’s the kind of question that could make most people defensive. But instead, it made me smile — because it’s real. It’s curious. And it gave me the chance to explain something that I think the church often struggles to talk about honestly: grace.
So here’s my answer.
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First off, thank you for that thoughtful comment and for even engaging with me on this. I love when people ask questions from a place of curiosity rather than condemnation — because that’s where real conversations happen.
What I’m saying is this: we all sin. Every single one of us. None of us has to try to sin — it’s part of our human nature in this messy, fallen world. Romans 3:23 says it clearly: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
My shortcomings just happen to be more public than most people’s. But that doesn’t make them greater or lesser than anyone else’s. According to Scripture, sin is sin — whether it’s lying, gossiping, cheating, or even murder — it all falls under the same category: humanity’s desperate need for grace. James 2:10 puts it like this: “Whoever keeps the whole law but stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.”
Through therapy and studying both psychology and Scripture, I’ve learned that most sins don’t just appear out of nowhere. They’re often born out of trauma. Someone who grew up in lack may struggle with stealing. Someone who can’t face reality might lie to survive. Someone who feels unloved at home may chase love and validation in all the wrong places.
We don’t “choose” our sin as much as we react out of brokenness — and yet it’s still sin. Which is exactly why we cling to Jesus. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Let me give you some context from my own life.
When I was 19, Stephen and I were the model “good Christian students” at Bethany, studying to become pastors. On the outside, we looked pure and devoted. But behind closed doors, we were a mess. We were promiscuous, meeting strangers from Craigslist, living in lust while pretending to be holy.
No one knew the truth except the people we sinned with. And if I’m being honest, we weren’t doing it out of rebellion — we were doing it out of pain. I was carrying trauma from being molested by a family member, and rapped several times by 5 different men at different times during high school and early junior college years. Stephen had been abused by his own family member. We were broken kids trying to numb our pain with pleasure, wearing masks of perfection because that’s what we thought Christians were supposed to do.
We only uncovered those truths later in therapy, and they helped us understand why we lived in rebellion while still craving redemption.
That’s why I always say — we have to stop pretending to be flawless. The Bible makes it crystal clear that salvation isn’t based on our performance but on Christ’s finished work on the cross. Ephesians 2:8–9 says it best: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast.”
If we could save ourselves by trying harder, then the cross would be pointless.
I don’t promote sin — but I also don’t promote pretending. My message is simple: stop hiding, stop faking, and start healing. Admit your faults, bring them to Jesus, and rest in His grace.
For 13 years in adult film, Stephen and I have also been in counseling with Christian therapists. And through all of that, we’ve discovered that freedom doesn’t come from perfection — it comes from surrender. From realizing that grace isn’t a license to sin, it’s the only power strong enough to transform it.
I’ve watched so many people walk away from church, not because they stopped believing in Jesus, but because they felt like they could never meet the impossible standards that religion piled on them. They felt like their mistakes made them unworthy of belonging.
But the truth is, the cross was never about us being perfect. It was always about Jesus being perfect for us.
2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”
That means my righteousness isn’t mine — it’s His. My worth isn’t in my past — it’s in His finished work. My hope isn’t in trying to stop sinning — it’s in knowing that even when I fall, He never stops loving.
That’s why I’m writing more openly about my story. I’m currently working on a book called “Radical Grace: The Scandalous Story of Sin, Sex, and Redemption.” My prayer is that it encourages people not to run from God, but to run toward Him — flaws, scars, and all.
Because if grace doesn’t reach the porn star, the addict, the liar, and the broken — then it isn’t grace at all.
Jesus said in Mark 2:17, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
That means He came for people like me — and like you.
So, no, I’m not saying “just keep sinning.” What I’m saying is: stop pretending you don’t. Because grace only works on what we’re willing to bring into the light.
Thank you again for asking the hard question. These conversations matter. They remind us that faith isn’t about perfection — it’s about connection. With each other, and with a God whose love scandalously outweighs our failures.
If you’ve got more questions like this or want to go deeper, email me anytime at info@funnychristy.com.
Remember you are my lovers, whether you love me or love to hate me you are still my lover!
Don’t forget Jesus loves you and so do I!